So each time I come to this blog I get a reminder that the last time I wrote anything on it was in June. And its not like I dont have things to say, but I think I've come to that point in my life when the kind of blog I had in mind, a place for me to explore my experiences and put them in context, is no longer what I need.
No experience moves me to passionate angst, or puts me in a contemplative mood anymore. I don't know if I'm growing beyond a lot of things or just becoming jaded. Don't get me wrong, I still feel passionate about a lot of things, but these days I only tackle the things I can do something about, and forget those that are beyond my ability. Like many other Nigerians, the situation at home bothers me day and night. As an African, the things happening on the continent really really break me down. But everytime I open this blog to talk about it, the question I ask myself is "What difference will this post make?" And because the answer is almost always "None" I close this page and...pick up a textbook or something. I'm tired of words that serve for nothing.
Action is much more attractive to me right now. I have joined three organisations since the summer. One of them is the World Youth Alliance which I had the opportunity to attend the United Nations Global Youth Summit with, but so far I have not really done much work with them. I also have joined Bono's organisation One.Org which has a chapter in my school and finally, I have taken up the responsibility of coordinating the International Students in my school as President of our association to tackle some humanitarian projects. I'm hoping somewhere, somehow, something I do makes a difference. Or at least that I gain the ability to do more. Because, like I said, words alone are no longer doing anything for me.
I will still write on here, from time to time because I still need an outlet. Just for myself and my thoughts, I don't really intend to direct people here anymore. I need my space.
(If I sound depressed, I may well be. Because just because am no longer talking about things, doesnt mean Im no longer sensitive to them. The world is going to hell, right before our eyes. Anyone who is not depressed by that, should thank God every day.)
Signing out time.
El Divine.
