Dec 31, 2010
Dec 11, 2010
They were sons, daughters, friends, brothers and sisters. I can remember calling Kechi's mom over and over again, during those agonizing moments when we did not know whether she had made it out or not. Few minutes before, a friend Amarachi had called me, sobbing as she asked me to 'pleease, pray for Kechi'. That was how I tuned into TV to watch the most heartbreaking tragedy I have ever witnessed. What I saw then wasnt angels dying. I saw friends. Zikora and Chidinma Okafor had been on that flight. Their dad was a good man, and they had been our neighbours for a long time. He had lived for them. They had been his pride. But they were gone. Forever.
More than the pride of their parents, they had been our friends. We had gone off to boarding school at relatively the same time, and even though we kinda becamse quasi-strangers, due to the fact they only came back one a year, our families had known each other too well. The shadow of their loss hung around for a long time. It hasnt fully gone away. Im not sure it ever will.
Ifeanyi Ubah had been a little whizkid. Energetic, fun and yet decidedly studious. He was far brighter than his brother Chibueze, who is my close friend. And if u know Chibueze, then that is saying a lot. He had big dreams and that spark of genius. But he was also just a fun kid. I wonder what he wouldve been now. But one can only wonder..we can never really know. We were talking about it yesterday and someone suggested a seance. Maybe we will do that. Maybe it will help us know.
The only silver lining in my experience with this tragedy has been Kechi. From childhood we had been close. We fought over puss in boots storybook in the back row of Primary 5 room 211. We went to kiddies xmas stuffs every december, and she kept going even till 2003, long after all our mates had stopped. She just had the gentle, upbeat, childlike personality. And she was extremely bright. So when Amarachi called me on Dec 10th 2005, asking me to pray for Kechi, I prayed with everything in me. And it seemed even God was not ready for her to leave. She made it through the crash, 7 long months of coma, during which her mom stayed at her side, and we stayed on the phone; years of several skin grafting procedures, in S.A. then in Texas. And whenever I think about her, this tragedy leaves a little room on my face for a smile. Becuase she is alive, well, and on her way to those dreams we dreamt as kids.
The rest of those kids had dreams too. That will never materialize. And knowing Nigeria, Im left to wonder, will they be remembered? Will their death have been in vain, forgotten under the daily tragedy that defines life in Nigeria? Or will we someday see a society where trageides like this are less likely to happen??
I believe the future will tell. Que serai, serai. But we have a part to play. 60 dreamz to live.
Dec 10, 2010
Dec 7, 2010
Africa needs to wake up mehn and stop compounding issues. I mean, its bad enough that the whole world prefers light skinned girls, should we now throw away one of the things going for us (i.e. proud full breasts that give a brother standing ovation) joor oh
As I grew as a person though, and matured into thinking for myself, I started evaluating these attitudes I had, to understand why I held them. Why didnt I like to be around gays, even though I had nothing against them? And I found out...nothing.
There was no reason whatsoever.
The prejudice i had against them was just that: a prejudice. Does the bible condemn it? Maybe, maybe not. Did scripture condemn adultery, yea. Did Christ condemn the adulterous woman? No. Do we today condemn adulterous people? Nope. Judge them, maybe. And while I cannot claim to understand them, gay people, are first and foremost, people. Not a subset, like society wants us to believe. There is no such thing as a subset of people. We are all fallen, reaching back to the vision of perfection : gay, straight, trans, all races, all classes, all religions.
If we want to criticise people on moral grounds, be equally moral for all gender expressions and sexual orientations. This is one area where Africa, is unfortunately, still too clingy towards its past. People justify their bias by saying , homosexuality is not in our culture. Well it is now! C'mon son! Neither was cinema, clubbing, facebook, flying in planes, Christianity, Islam, democratic politics and gin and juice but they're all part of it now. So will you be the wife of Lot that will stare back at visions lost? or will you welcome a new African culture, a blend of the past, present and near future? All Im saying is, times have changed. Arent you all the ones going on about change? If Greece had held on to 'culture and tradition' they would have died as city-states. If America held on to tradition, black people would still be slaves. Our modern age would never have arisen gaddamit! We cannot hold on to a culture that glorifies dehumanisation, or continue to live in denial of the reality of our times. There are parts of our culture that deserve being held on to, our arts, our history, our language, our dress, our sense of worth and value and work ethic, our spirit of tolerance. People are all too quick to sweep these under the carpet, but when it comes to homosexuality, we suddenly become African ambassadors. Never mind the fact that some of these people have done more to keep and promote African culture than we have.
I guess all Im saying is, we need to join the rest of the world in the new age. Lets bring our African flair into it, and let us not, in the new global culture be known as the continent of homophobes. Let people see the hospitality, tolerance and communal bond we are known for. Change is inevitable. Maybe we were a dogmatic society in the past. But new information and new realities demand a new orientation.Instead of finding justification to hate in your religion, find justification to love. Thats what humans are about. Now its your turn. Make the change. For love's sake.
Dec 6, 2010
I mean did you see that?!! I cant even say nothing. In between fits of laughter, I managed to be annoyed at this as well. And the other judge guy took it really personal. "This is obscenity!" (someone want to bet hes ghey, lol i kid! i kid!)
And the fat judge was just like "now thats having fun" over and over again. Ask me, he didnt know what else to say. Some things just freeze ur brain in autopse.
This naked boy got the dress down he deserved finally! I mean, he had the nerve, the neeerrrrrrve, to even remotely link Fela to his psycho-display. Extreme hand-fallage. He should have just said he was doing a traditional costume display and pretend not to speak English like these guys:
. That would at least give him an excuse to get away with whatever he does. I mean see how they said yes to these folks. Tell me he didnt do far better. You see, its all about the packaging. Go take lessons, my friend. Stop insulting the greats like Fela. Its not cool.
Dec 5, 2010
Dec 4, 2010
So apparently, Ijebu people (in case you dont know, Ijebu is a community close to Lagos state) have a reputation of being miserly. Now, I dont know how true that is, seeing that am an Ibo boy. But stereotypes rule the world so people shaa went in on the trending topic #ijebuism to give expressions to the most beautiful mizer attitudes people display. Im only going to pick my top twenty funniest.
So here they are, in no particular order...the things #Ijebuism causes are:
1. Getting high on cough syrup. (weed is not just as cheap as it used to be abi?)
2. Building your house with one window facing the neighbours living room so you can watch TV from there.
3. Mixing Tony Montana deodorant with water to use as deodorant.
4. Writing your name as 'Homorlorlah' and when you pronounce it , you still pronounce it as 'homorlorlah' (okay, that wasnt miserly but apparently ijebu people are the kings of h-factor) so ijebu people like to hEAT hEBA!
5. Going alone on your honeymoon because a trip for two is too expensive (chei, iDead)
6. Chewing agbalumo skin until it changes to chewing gum.
7. Pouring water inside beaten egg before frying. (also applies to dusting the sugar off your doughnut so you can use it to soak garri later)
8. Cutting agege bread into a U shape so it looks like a croissant
9. Washing sanitary pad so you can use it again (wince!). and before yu guys walk away self righteously, some of yall do the same with condoms =)
10. Bathing with your clothes on so u can wash them at the same time.
11. Having a Polo shirt where the horse is holding the stick and chasing the guy.
12. Using one beat for all the tracks in your album. (What do you say 9ice?) or rapping into the spinning fan so it will sound like autotune :D
13. As you outgrow them,u cut ur trousers into 3 quaters, then shorts, then booty shorts, then pants. (why u no make am g-string too?) HABA!!
14. Pouring Zobo into a Nuvo bottle. (if you dont know what nuvo is you need to #slapYourself
15. Uve graduated but you still hold ur UniLag card just to watch movie for cheap (I totally know someone who did this, but I shaa no go talk)
16. Pricing school fees.
17. Lapping ur babe at the cinema
18. Asking people to remain the liquid for you when they're taking cereal so u wont have to buy milk.
19. Using aluminium plate for TV antennae.. (I kid you not, this happens)
20. Having two TVs on top of each other becos one shows pictures and the other one gives sound.
Like I said, there are countless others, to sample all of them just go here . Thats it folks. If ur my friend and have ijebu blood, i mean no harm. Like i said, its all for laffs. abi ur doing ijebu with your laff too?
can you see that not everyone walking je-jely for road is to be messed around with?? I respect lol, and i imagine the cops did too.
Nov 28, 2010
- Jesus of God Mission
- God's Mennonite Church
- Guided Missiles Church (see their bus below, anyone wanna guess they're affiliated to NATO?)
- Jesus in the Now Global Church
- Healing Has Begun Ministry
- God's Own Ministry
- The True (don't want to think of what this implies of the other we know) :D
· Jehova Sharp Sharp (Festac)
· Huricane Miracle Ministry
· Healing Tsunami Ministry
· Satan in Trouble Ministry
· Fire for Fire Ministry
· FIST OF FURY (Jet Li would totally go there)
· The Yoke Must Broke Ministry
· Jesus Heal Ministry
· Face to face ministry
· Chapel of Peace
· Niger State) (Suleja,
· By fire By Fire Ministry
· HOLYFIRE OVERFLOW MINISTRIES
· David Killed Goliath Ministry (Kaduna)
· House of Jehova's Padawans (TransAmadi, PH)
· JESUS IN HIS MIGHTINESS GLOBAL MINISTRY
· OPM - Other people's money (the idea being that other people's money will work for you, capeesh?) Lmao
· God in action ministries
· Moving mountain gospel church
· MY BROTHER IS A CHRISTIAN CHURCH OF GOD (I swear, who does these things?)
· Fellowship of the Wings - Ajah (Lamgasa)
· Power Foundation Ministries, Aba. === The pastor's maiden crusade was titled: "Your Money is Looking For You" (talk about killer salesmanship)
· ON FIRE MINISTRY (Abuja)
· HIGH TENSION MINISTRY
· JESUS NEVER bleep UP MINISTRY (Benin) === for those of you who don't get the meaning, replace the word bleep in this one with the err... the "F" word :D
· Devil go hear am Jesus Ministry
· Chukwudi & Son evangelical ministry, Aba === (Igbo man no dey carry last!) :D
· Power pass power church of the mountain ministry incorporated
· Ministry Of The Naked Wire - Bayelsa State
· LABORATORY CHURCH OF GOD
Nov 27, 2010
Nov 24, 2010
Nov 22, 2010
Anyhow, a girl am close to just ostracised me. Yea, no talking, no dealing with me until further notice. Am now public enemy number one. And what was my sin? Oh, I had the audacity to put the lyrics of a love song on my status. Lemme expantiate...
My stat was simple.. "I saw her an angel, with the dust of stars in her eyes". It was a song. That I loved. Nothing more to it. I didnt see an angel. Im not looking for one. But I digress. So one girl commented that the stat was so sweet, and how did she lose a man like me. The girl is a close friend, but we're not romantically involved, just flirting here and there. so i regarded it as the harmless normal thing and told her sure, I was still here and still loved her.
Another close friend was like..anh, she knows the status is about her, and I was like yea, but I will make a new one specially for her. You know, all in the fun of the status and stuff.
Then the girl that I started this story with, the 'ostracist' lol, read the comments and hit me up asking why I was making statuses about other people, and flirting with them and all that while she was there for me. Now, said girl is not my girlfriend, we had been UNOFFICIALLY involved but that was a while back and from my understanding she had a budding relationship with some other guy. So to me, she was just joking too and I was like sure, that I was finding new love and all. And she was going on and on about the kind of person I was, that I knew fully well that I was special to her and all that. At a point I was like, this is still jokes right? i mean you're not really serious are you..just to be sure. And that was when she was inflamed, ordered me to stop talkin to her and hung up. Then she didnt pick my call and later on when we met she seriously did not talk to me. At which point, I was like "whoaaa". I explained that this was a simply lyric but she was either a very good actress or she was really pissed cos she said something: "it would have been okay with any other girl if it wasnt an akata:" referring to the girl that said the stat was about her. At which point I was like, why am I going through this..its all jokes. She walked out without still talking to me. Later on she texted that I should follow akata girls. I can swear on heavens blood that this girl is not my girlfriend, we had something at some point but ther was no indication from her end that it meant more. So now am like...what did I do??
Lesson learned: nothing is ever really, unserious with a babe. Whether you guys are official or not. And till now, I think this is all funny. Except that she still aint talkin to me...can you bliv that?
Nov 21, 2010
Hey blog world. For those of you that know me, you know Im a video game freak. For those that don't well, now you know. I had my first video game when I was nine and SEGA was the heaven of video games. At the time, I had an 8 bit contra and I remember the embarrasment when my friends chose to go to another boy's house instead of mine because he has a 16 bit sega, and I had contra. Even as young as I was, I hated not being the ish. So from then, there was no new game that I didnt own, I went on from Sega, to Nintendo 64 and hand held Gamboy to PS and PS2. Now am grown, and dont care as much about cool points, but as far as gaming is concerned, I still stay on top of it.
Anyway, my friend and I were going at it on the xbox today when he scored a freekick from a long range. Now, if ur familiar with soccer, you know thats a pretty rare occurence, I dont care how good you are. So I sat back and waited while dude replayed the freekick over and over, slowly following the flight of the ball as it sank into the net. He would pull the ball back to point it left the kick taker's foot, and then gently relive the goal. I understood. It was his moment.
And it hit me that in a way that is what we do when we get a taste of success. In our minds, we relive that moment, over and over...seeing the events that led up to it. Its our way of saying 'this is the ideal'. It burns into our consciousness and lights us up. Think back at when you got admitted into college, or when you landed that first major award, or contract, or whatever it is that signifies success in your field. In your mind, you linger in that moment. And what happens is, you take that blueprint and follow it wherever you go. Personally, I wouldnt replay that goal. Its still rare for me to score, but Ive done it enough times for it to lose its charm. That shows that you dont linger in that moment, for that moments sake. You relive it so that when the time comes, when the goals are bigger, and the stakes higher, you can amplify and recreate that success. And that is what the replay does. Its a rehearsal, for bigger arrivals. So when next you hear that nothing can be learnt from playing games, think again.
Nov 18, 2010
Recently, all that has changed. Its amazing, becuase these days, inspiration has been flowing like seven seas in my mind and Ive been putting pen on paper so often that my head is beginning to swim in distant lands, and to commune with ideas like Im talking to people.
I have one book to thank, partly, for this renaissance. The Alchemist, by Brazilian writer Paulo Coelho. The allegorical tales of a shepherd boy that lived for his dreams, for signs, and the language of the Soul were the sparks that lit my fire again. In his words "...
Nov 14, 2010
What will be the advantages of making up rules of grammar, and wiriting a dictionary and standardizing spelling and pronunciation? What are the reasons behind this drive to even turn the pidgin into a more standard language, to be used as language of learning as they have prosposed? Will Nigerians be better or worse off for it?
The reasons they gave for wanting to standardise the language is that more and more Nigerian students are failing at standard English. And that more and more Nigerians are expressing themselves in pidgin. So if we were to endorse pidgin as an official language, then Nigerians will inevitably excel in their linguistic education. Anyone spot the fallacy?
In the first place, its not the fault of the English language that our students are failing it. Its the fault of our educational system. And teaching pidgin in our school will not of itself guarantee that students will perform better at it. Its a case of the bad barber blaming the hair.
Another thing is, which variation of pidgin will they standardize? Pidgin is not homogeneous in Nigeria, and one of the beauties of the lingua is its fluidity and adaptability to every environment. Warri pidgin is not the same as Lagos pidgin, in word choices, inflection, delivery and style. chop no be lem, as they say. Both 'chop' and 'lem' btw refer to eating. All the same, I feel that forcing pidgin into the typical western orthographic structure will be a clipping of its 600+ years old wings. It may cast the language in a mold it was not built for.
Most of our native languages have already been forced into that cast and, I dont know about other languages, but they did a pretty messed up job with mine. Igbo written is not quite representative of how its meant to be spoken and somehow it seems too mechanical reading a novel in Igbo. It doesnt have the same flow as natural Igbo speech. And Im afraid this is what they will succeed in doing to pidgin too.
And lets say they even succeed and pidgin becomes a standard written language, and everyone learns it instead of the standard English language. Will that necessarily help us? The world is accessible to us as Nigerians because we speak English. If, instead of improving our mastery of English, we withdraw to our comfort zone and embrace pidgin. will we not be shutting ourselves out of an increasingly English speaking world? Will our writers, musicians, filmmakers, and scholars still reach the world if they communicate in pidgin? It is well and good for us to learn a language that holds us together, no matter tribe and class. But if we will only put effort into educating our young, English will not only do that, but connect us to the world. For that is the sole aim of language. Connecting people.
Oct 31, 2010
What I discovered today though, is that Kanye West actually had an early start with one christian track, "Jesus Walks." The song blew up pretty hard and helped launch him. Here are some lyrics "God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down/ Jesus Walks with me." "I ain't here to argue about his facial features, But here to convert atheists into believers
I'm just trying to say the way school need teachers
The way Kathie Lee needed Regis that's the way I need Jesus".
Oct 30, 2010
The sneer I use to tell my Ghanaian friend "we're not desperate and trashy like u guys" "we have some decency" and all that has been plastered on my face into a grimace. The worst is seeing the two guys kissing. Its icky...a lot. Makes me positively wanna puke, and anyone that thinks I owe them an apology for that should go and kiss Majela's butt.
My respect for Nollywood has taken a major nosedive. I dont know if its just me, but I think this path they are following Ghana on may cost them the respect among other African countries and around the world that they have built so far. Theres such a thing as trying too hard. I think thats what they're doing now.
Oct 29, 2010
Oct 26, 2010
So today it finally hits me. The denial is gone, my mind has processed it and finally the grief I tot I had mastered, has let loose. For the second time, death has intruded into my reality and the scales have dropped from my eyes. People die. And when they do, people cry.
I wish I culd cry. I wish the swirl of emotions would find expression in tears that wash away the heaviness and set me free to mourn and get over it. When my mum died, I never cried. I sunk myself into exams, travel preparations, running checklists over and over in my mind so that I wouldnt confront the thoughts that placed their heavy grip on my chest. I did eventually let it out, after I had gotten my visa and had no other thoughts to push them back with. I collapsed on my bedroom floor, international passport in hand, two months after my mum's funeral and finally cried for her. I remember when people looked at my dry eyes during her funeral and remarked "hes a strong man, lionheart," and stuff like that. If only they knew.
Once again I find myself writing, blogging, doing homework that I would normally ignore, anything to take my mind off the fact that Dr. Tony-Adams Aburime, the most convivial, endearing and annoyingly pleasant guy I knew, a father figure, mentor and boss has left this world. And most suddenly too. I saw him on thursday. He was fine. On monday, he was dead. Its a dark, dark day in my life right now.
I summoned the courage to write this because letting it out may be what I need to put it behind me. And as I write, my thoughts dance around death. One prayer I ask, that God in heaven should keep my dad safe, and let him stay alive for far longer than ever. I love that man to death, and hes the only one I have. Let nothing happen to him anytime soon.
As for Doc, you've finally seen what its like on the other side. I hope its everything you wanted it to be, and more. R.I.P. and may my days be filled with brightness once again. Cos even though misery loves company, I like to grieve alone.