Jul 31, 2010

Lesbian Roomates

Um, Im going to blog about something that doesnt really affect me directly on my personal blog, but its just that Im an enemy of things that dont make any kind of logical sense. Or things that create unnecesaary drama. Plz, if ur not comfortable discussing sexual things, or are homophobic on one end, or homofanatic on the other end, i suggest you read no further. If ur balanced, rational and objective like me (haha i wish), u can read on.

You see, I live in a co-ed dorm and on our floor, there is a suite inhabited by these two lesbian couples. That is this couple on one hand, and the other couple, four girls living in the suite. Everyone knows them, they're lesbian. Im cool with them. Sometimes, I even hang out with them. But only when its very necessary, like when they're drinkin n want company (and i never ever go alone). lol, nothing against them but no use for a nigga to feel outnumbered by some fuckin amazons.
Anyway, these girls chill in the suite. And heres where the shit started not to make sense. When one girl say from one couple comes out from the shower or from bed, maybe wearing a towel or nightie or somn...both the girls from the other couple would kinda like stare at her, u kno, like regular, check out those legs kind of shit. Then one of them would get mad at the other, cos they were looking at the girl so the conversation kinda goes like: "what r u staring at her for?" then d other would be like "cos U was lookn at her" and the other would go "no, i saw u lookn at her first" and the accusation would go back and forth. Excuse me, both of yall were looking at her. know why? cos ur fucking lesbians, and ur both attracted to women. And this happens for the both couples, like this couple will look at the girls from the other couple and vice versa. And they all like, got mad.
Im like dude! yall have sexual desire for women anyway, so u cant get mad at ur woman for looking at another half naked woman, especially when ur looking at the same damn woman in the first fuckin place. Yur all lookin at each other. ur all attracted to each other. and ur all living in the same house. So think about it...why dont u all just decide to be four single ladies living in the house. Yu kno, just have fun with whoever is available at the moment or who knows, have a freaking foursome. Bcos, rationally, yall relationships is really, at the core of it, based on sexual preference. Like, sexual, SEX, the person you'd rather have sex with. I mean, emotions are involved in the long run, but ive never heard of any one who went lesbian cos she was emotionally attracted to girls while sexually attracted to men.. Its always physical.Sexual. And even in hetero relationships, when an affair is based on sex alone, its not usually taken very seriously. So in lez affairs, no one takes yall relationship serious anyway. monogamy all boils down to a choice. why wont they just have a candid conversation, and free the air so they can all be free to mingle. It all makes much more sense...walahi. At least, no one will invite me to tell me their problems anymore and man pikin can focus on his own personal issues.

On aside: I just wrote this cos i tot it was really a funny scenario and i can talk about it here without being scared of hurtin no ones ego or emotions. If it doesnt fly with u..just wait for the next story. Peace

Im tired

Dunno whats going on right now. One moment Im excited and bustling. The next im just tired of everything.

Im not usually like that.

Im mostly upbeat and fun having at evry moment. Now, I have to persuade myself to go party.

I still have fun, and still hang out with friends and laff and shit, so i cant really say im depressed. But it all feels so hollow.

Maybe its the stress. Ive not really had a holiday this summer. But summer school is done now.

I just got my ticket to NY. Maybe I'll unwind there and then get back to my normal self.

I hope so. Till then, Im just tired.

Jul 30, 2010

Why na?? I tire for naija oh

Naija is always taking one step forward and two steps back in most sectors of her national life. Imagine IBB strutting about trying to run for president. As in, IBB?!! Wasnt this the man known as the 'evil genuis', 'Dele Giwa killer' and June 12 villian. Anyway, I have nothing to say on him shaa...alll I know is that if a man fools u once, the shame is on him. If he fools u twice, the shame is on u. I wonder who the shame will be on for this election...nigerians, or the corrupt fools.

Thats how Donald Duke came to talk about how they rig elections. I mean, he put it on the papers during a press conference. Like, does he want us to bliv hes had a change of heart?? Hardly.
He did raise a point that lets me realise that these people know--they know what they're doing, they know what they're up to.
Heres his comment:

“We the elite, I am one of them, we send our kids to the best schools around the world, when they come back they are misfits, they cannot fit in and so ultimately we are designing a system that would destroy us in the end”.---Donald Duke.

To see the rest of his comments, follow this link : http://odili.net/news/source/2010/jul/28/502.html

Honestly, its not hard to be ashamed of naija. But then, I look at our young generations, at what we're achieving by ourselves, and I still swag on...flygerian style.
God help us all...

Jul 29, 2010

On the Grey

Still excited about the new directions my life is taking. A new blog, summer skul done with, new minor and hopefully a major coming together of stuff Ive been working on for several months now. (yall will hear about it if it works out).
But thats not the main gist. People, I went to Atlanta last weekend! Whats so special about that, right? Well it was my first time there. And the city impressed the hell outta me, I had mega fun, have a lot of pics and stories. But thats still not the reason for this post. The reason? I went on "the Grey". Yea, I took that most evil of contraptions, the Greyhound.
Kevin talked me into it. There were six of us, bored as fuck in the dorm with nothing to do. "Lets go to Atlanta in Kevin's car" Anna, the Colombian girl we roomed with said. We all agreed, except that Kevin's car was broken. It was our last weekend at school tho so no one wanted to pass up the trip. So when Kevin raised the idea of taking "the Grey", we all, after some protest, agreed. It was only a four hour journey, and despite greyhounds rather unhealthy reputation, it couldnt be so bad, could it? Besides, the other two Americans kept harping on how it was going to be an 'adventure'. In my head I was like "oyinbo no get sense at all, adventure ko greyhound ni". I took enuf "Chisco" back home to know that it wasnt my thing at all.
But it was either go with the flow or sit around ALONE at the apartment that weekend. So I said, fuck it, lets go. So we did. And greyhound lived up to its reputation. Dirty ass station, slow ticket lady, grumpy looking customers. I could have sworn some of them were psycho serial killers or something worse. But I decided to dwell on the good side. It was rather cheap. :)) The problem came when we got on the bus tho. One black dude (with the smelliest dreads Ive ever had the misfortune to come across) sitting across the aisle from me kept asking me and my seatmate, another naija boy, about Africa. Then he declared to us that he was descended from the lineage of Chaka, the great Zulu king. I nodded, yea sure. And Im the grandson of Frank Roosevelt. We shaa laffed it all off. Next thing, the guy started talking about dick. Asking questions like "you ever seen another guy's dick? U ever seen a horses dick? I heard that thing is huge. I wanna see horses doing it." The guy sitting next to him was a white guy (who we later learnt had just got out of prison). The white guy said he grew up and in a farm and had seen horses doing 'it' a lot. For the next five minutes, they talked a lot of trash. Me was already whispering to my friend that "Chaka" here might be gay. But my friend was like hell na, cos chaka was big, well built and masculine to the bone. Besides, he was too dirty to be gay. So I tried to pocket my own opinion and keep my suspicions to urs truly. But after a while, chaka changed stories and started telling everyone in earshot about how he was raped by a gang of dudes a long time ago. He started saying that he thinks hes gay. By this time, the aisle wasnt wide enuf cos I wanted to put as much distance between me and the dude as possible(im not homophobic but this one looked like trouble.). As I was still contemplating this I heard him say that if it turned out that he was really gay, that I would be his first girlfriend. As he said it, he reached across the aisle to land one rather heavy arm on my shoulder. That was it!
I went off on him like fireworks on July 4. For a moment, I forgot I was on the bus as I stood over him, cussing in english and ibo, making sure he knew that the next time he touched me, amputation would be a blessing. I rained all kinds of expletives, added a whole lot of amadiohas and shit i dint even know I knew they existed. It was when I noticed evrryone on the bus was watching that I quieted down and let him be. Then it began to sink in on me. I had just cussed out this nigga who looked like he ate steel chippings 4 breakfast. I dint pause to think what would have happend if he had taken me up on my offer to break his arm off. I for die. I eyed him carefully, tense for the rest of the journey and was relieved when we got to ATL and left the bus. Now we laugh about it and shyt, but really, I was kinda scared. If it came to a fight, I would be sporting some cracked ribs b4 any of my friends even got out of their seats. That said, I eventually went on to have a fun weekend. As for 'the Grey' adventure or not, Im not getting on that stuff ever again, so help me God. Nothin in naija prepared me for that, and in this life, a nigga gotta be prepared. No use being taken by surprise. Thats dangerous.

Jul 28, 2010

First Summer---where my money at?

It seems like yesterday when I came to the states. But its been a year now. Not the most eventful year Ive had but its been a wonderful time. And academically, a thrilling time. I must say I enjoy a lot of things about this country, just like Im sure many of u do. I enjoy the freedom from over bearing adults, and the choice on how to live my life. I enjoy the friendliness of Americans. Esp their girls. I enjoy the fact that there is a lot of fun to be had. At every turn.
That was why I had high hopes for my first summer in this country. It was going to be the long break from skul that would allow me to savor all the wonders of this country, without real acada stress. Im took some summer classes, but we all kno summer skul is mostly fun, very lil work. And to cap it all, I had saved up a princely sum of three thousand dollars (thanx to a very generous scholarship I had gotten in my 2nd semester.) I was looking forward to ending summer school and taking a nice trip to NY or LA to flex with home boys and chill with the ladies before fall semester began. But all that is gone to dust. I mean, I still get to go to NY, but just bcos I have no choice, thats where my apartment is. Its hardly a vacay at all...all my money is gone.
It all started when spring semester ended. There was a month gap before summer skul would start. I had paid for summer housing, but for that one month, yours truly wanted to go to NY and chill. I had no $400 a week to pay for on campus accomodation for those four weeks. That doesnt count feeding. I would rather buy a flight with $300+ and come back when i wanted. But my over helpful Dean of Admissions will have none of it. "You dont have to spend money going to NY and back. I'll pay for ur stay until summer school starts...just give me ur student ID number."
And dumbass me chilled in the dorm for $400 a week. I still think to myself, 'what were u thinkin?' I mean, I could have easily rented a place off campus, but then i no get car cos freshmen are not allowed unless they're from out of state. Which I am, except I applied with a Naija address, so officially I wasnt going nowhere with a car (even tho i tried to get approved after I got my Manhattan apartment, they wouldnt let me. ). So I stayed my ass on campus, and shaa got through summer school. I would have been blissfully thinking my bill was paid long ago...until one day. My yankee female friend (as opposed to gf) had an outstanding balance and her student account was going to be dropped. She came to ask me for a loan. How much? $900. I was almost ready to loan her at least five hundred, cos she had few options (hers is another story..which I will share later). Until I decided to check my own student account, just for the heck. So wetin nigger no fit shout when I saw a fat $2,200 balance sitting right there, and my account held until payment was made. I was like 'Fcuk me!' Then came the run around. I kept going back to Dean but suddenly, he was in all sorts of meetings. I mean, its the freaking summer! No one goes to meeting everyday, morn to night...when skul is out. For a whole week, he couldnt be caught in his office. Sotee, his secretary started making snide remarks, telling me that I'd better "go start flipping burgers" if I wanted to pay that hold off. I swear, she said it to my hearing. I couldnt even talk to her after that, I mean, Im an international student from Africa doesnt mean I cant pay ur fuckin salary, on a very good day. (#okay i really cant, but what the hell...I can make a hella down payment. ) All Im saying is that I finally had to pay it myself. That, and other natural charges that I had personally incurred meant all my money was gone. And even now, the man hasnt even bothered to ask me "what happened to ur bill?"
Luckily, my dad sent me my fall semester money a lil early so I can still go back to NY. If not, where man pikin for dey till skul starts? And that taught me a new lesson. Just bcos we're no longer in Nigeria, where ppl lie like they need it to stay alive, doesnt mean liars aint here in the US. It doesnt mean ppl will always mean what they say every time. I had begun to relax my guard and trust Americans' word cos I felt they were more reliable than Nigerians most times. But I just got the reminder that its not the place, its the person. So Im back to watching my back all the time. That way, I wont be caught unawares.

NB: Anyone had any experiences of being screwed over by people who should have done better...outside naija? Share with me pls

Jul 27, 2010

Here I Stand----the Past and Present

Y'all know that time when you make that transition from "restless amebo" commenting on other people's blogs to the "greenhorn" putting urself out there for that inevitable falling hand you've been avoiding. Well, for me, this is that moment. This is it! (RIP Michael!) Im finally launching my own full time blog [just when blogger decided to give us this day our own templator]. Aint that awesome?
My blog is going to be an heartfelt soul searching and dissertation of lessons I learn in life from day to day to find out exactly how it has affected me, made me better or worse of a person than I already am. I will appreciate those who love it, and try to give them more to love. For those who decide they hate it, I will appreciate ur criticism, so I can do better. But dont expect me to change for you, or worse still, to love u. I know its the fad to 'love ur haters' but seriously, no time. I find it hard to repay everyone that loves me, why spare room for haters?
There are always people that provide inspiration for u to make any step and looking into blogsville, I can confidently say that all NIGERIAN bloggers have been an awesome inspiration. Yall r doing nice things, and I feel so many of u wella. That being said, there are some that have been those personalities that I had real contact with that made me want to be here for real. Azazel, for sparking my interest from the get go. Thats one smart bruva, he luvs his controversies too, and I always appreciate him for giving me the chance to contribute to his uber cool blog. Nice Anon, Myne Whitman and Leggy for always commenting on my "Pilgrimage" blog, which I used to test exactly how seriously I took this thing. Yall were a great encouragement. Sugabelly, for comments, for answering my questions, for having an awesomely cool blog, and an inspiring personality to boot, and so much more. For all who spread the word and the love, I also appreicate all of yall. El Divine has come to stay, and as I learn, so I will share. Life ana aga aga. Life goes on. And so does our learning.