Feb 16, 2012


 I firmly believe, beyond all reasonable doubt, that Starbucks is part of an evil plot to enslave the mind of people everywhere, and make us addicted to their products. I am not kidding!
   Okay, swear I am the only one who goes in everyday, moaning about how expensive starbucks is, and yet absolutely unable to resist that frap, or latte. God, how that latte makes me come alive. How delicious it is! Am salivating right now, craving coffee, and its past midnight. See what I mean? And don't you see how its like NO ONE ELSE can make coffee that has quite the same effects as Starbucks? Hell, I just tweeted this today:

And they do. 
But...what if the secret to the awesome addiction-inducing deliciousness of Starbucks coffee isn't just due to their excellent brewing skills. What if there is something more sinister at work? *cue in 80s horror film suspense music* What if there is a mind-game and a spiritual channeling game involved that mentally hooks you to them, making you keep coming back? You think am kidding? Okay, take a good look at their logo: 

Siren: The two things at her head are the split mermaid tails 

I know am not the only one who has wondered who that nice pretty lady is. Well, she's a figure from Greek mythology known as the Siren. Look it up. They're mermaid-like creatures, with a split tail which is what she is holding up on the sides of her head, although they cropped out the original. My point though is, in greek mythology, what does the siren represent? They represent addiction, obsession and finally, death. 

Yea, I do. Totally.

So you mean Starbucks deliberately put this image used to represent addiction, obsession and death, onto their corporate logo? And somehow, their product happens to be addictive, cause people to obsess over it, and finally lead to death. At least financially I have died a thousand deaths because of them. Just in case you are not convinced, just in case u think, oh naaah, this is just a cute picture they put in there to look cool, here's what Starbucks 'senior writer' wrote on their web page while explaining the logo. You can go read it, but Im just going to quote a few of what he says: 
"...the Siren has always been there. She is at the heart of Starbucks." 
You mean, she's not just something you picked cos its good looking? She is at the heart of starbucks? Something that represents addiction, and obsession is AT THE HEART of your company? Say it aint so. He continues with this:
"there is a lot more to her than just the design and how she looks." 
Oh Lord. So its true. There is something entirely spiritual to their logo. Again our writer guys confirms:

"for me she's kind of the Final say on the spirit of everything I write and everything we do. Even as I'm writing this, I  wonder what she thinks. (She likes it, by the way.)"

She talks to them! And approves everything they do! And its all geared towards making you obsessed, addicted, and finally leading to your death. Financially or otherwise. Im done. This is all too much for me. The idea that a company would engage in such evil is just numbing to me. Maybe I need to pour me a hot cup of coffee to wake me up again. Oh wait, we have a Starbucks in my school. They got me yo! Adios!

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