RESEARCH: Iphone users have more sex...

i kid you not.
this is a graph released by OkCupid.

does that correspond with your reality? 

Google may be an idiot for this..

For all its smartness, i was kinda happy to see that google can be dumb sometimes...
for instance, spot the joke here

This is Business: Always Offer Value.

Dad: Son, I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No.
Dad: She is Bill Gates daughter.
Son: OK, I'll do it.

Dad: Bill Gates I want your daughter to marry my son
Bill Gates: No.
Dad: He is the CEO of World Bank
Bill: Okay, Lets do It.

Dad: I want you to appoint my son CEO of World Bank
WB President: No
Dad: He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates
WBP: When can he start.

This Is Business. Always offer value in order to deliver value.  Not perfect, but it gets shit fucking done!

Politics, on the other hand.....coercion, coercion, coercion. And endless rigmarole.

Here's Why Its Completely Fair that Romney pays 15%

When you tax productivity, you produce poverty. (Adam Smith, 17th century economist)

Turn on the TV and listen to politicians. The mantra for Obama's election in 2012 is "tax the rich!" OR
"make them pay their fair share."
I'm sure President Obama sincerely believes that increasing the taxes paid by the richest Americans is the right thing to do. Maybe he's really going to do it. Maybe he's saying it just to win the masses over. I can't really say.
What I can try to say though is that there is nothing wrong with Romney, or any other guy for that matter paying 15% or lower on capital gains. I daresay that it would be UNFAIR to increase the capital gains tax. If anything, it should be lower. Before you think I was paid by the GOP to say trash let me explain.

Say you have two people: Jack and Jill. They both do some work, and are paid with two apple pies. They both pay one apple pie as taxes and now have one pie left each. Now, Jack eats his one remaining pie. Jill trades hers for three oreos. Would it be fair for Jill to pay additional taxes on her three oreos? I'm thinking its not, right? After all, if she hadnt traded it, she was entitled to a full untaxed pie.
In the same way, lets say Jack and Jill work for $2 each. They both pay $1 as taxes and have $1 left. Jack spends his one dollar. Jill does not spend hers but either loans it or trades it for a future $3. When she gets the $3 in the future, why should she pay additional taxes on it? She already paid when she earned it! This is the same exact reasoning with capital gains taxes. Its why there are some people who think even 15% is too much and capital gains should be taxed at 0. Because capital gains is money you invested instead of spending. And if you tax capital gains the same way you tax ordinary income, most people will have no incentive to save their income and invest it, because it would be like double taxation. They would be more inclined to spend it instead. And what happens when investments and savings fall and people spend all their income? There will be no money for business, no new jobs created, no growth and definitely less income in the future. So government has every incentive to encourage people to not spend their remaining,after-tax dollars, and invest it instead. Thats why the gain on investment is taxed less. And that is the incentive raising the capital gains taxes will be taking away. America will pretty much be kissing their investment dollars goodbye because once you tax something, you get less of it. No one wants to save money after taxes, invest it only to pay more taxes after they generate returns.  And incase you don't know it, investors like Romney and Buffet and all others even though they pay such a low rate, have already paid ordinary taxes because the companies they invest in already paid corporate tax on the money made for them. It is the remaining, the one apple pie left that is returned as capital gains and taxed only 15%. So if you want to calculate the true tax rate Romney and co pay, add the corporate tax their companies pay, and then the individual low rate. If you do that, the real tax rate they pay is already more than 35%.

Meanwhile, the next time someone says its unfair for capital gains to be taxed at a low 15%, tell them to take their income AFTER they've paid normal tax, then go and invest it and then watch it get taxed again. Then tell me who is being fair to who. Stop listening to politicians when they seduce you with what you want to hear in order to vote for them. Think different.  Peace out.

El-Divine.

Happy Mother's Day

Motherhood is  privilege. But there is no question that the best privilege is enjoyed by the child that was raised by a good mother.
There is no kind of love that equals it in the whole world and probably, beyond too.
Its a promise that in the contest of life, you always have someone in your corner. And NO ONE should take that for granted.
This is exactly three years since I first stared at my own corner and only emptiness stared back.
My mother passed on. I still hurt everyday, think about how she feels about the things I do everyday, wish I could make her hear how much I love her everyday.
Im happy for those whose moms are still there with them.
Its really an honor.

I love you mom. Happy mother's day.

A Sure fire Way To Remove Money From Politics

Much outcry is constantly being made about money in politics. Everyone condemns it as bad, the politicians score cheap points opposing it, while even the corporations blamed for it, would rather not do it. But after all the hell raised, the influence of money in politics is increasing instead of decreasing.
Here's what I suggest: stop giving government all these unnecessary regulatory powers. You can't legislate your way to perfection, so this impulsive increasing of regulations for government to tackle every problem in sight, real or imaginary is the real reason money is increasingly pouring into politics. With mounting regulations, corporations will have to run to government for permission to do everything. Its not that they won't still do it, the politicians will just be paid for it. So at the end of the day, government becomes a tool to enrich a few fat cats, without doing anything any differently. Strip government of unnecessary regulatory powers, corporations will have fewer reason to lobby it, and bingo, politics is free of money, or at least less encumbered.
Most regulations are really not as necessary as you think. Majority of it are already regulated by self-interest and market risk. Politicians just use it as a way of grandstanding to gain votes, or say they did something. So for those of you congratulating the current Democrats on Dodd-Frank Financial Regulation bill, as we speak, corporations are still calculating how much more money that bill is going to cause them to spend, on lobbying. Its running into billions, and only 39 out of the approximately 1300 specific regulations are in effect for now. So expect billions more. And you know the funny thing? A finance expert, asked by the Senate committee said "I don't think this bill will really prevent another recession." Say whatt????

So there you go. You can stop asking for politicians to make these rules that they're just going to apply to people based on the highest bidder, or you get used to the fact that money will continue to influence politics. You can't have both. Choose one.

STARBUCKS IS TEH EVIL YO!

 I firmly believe, beyond all reasonable doubt, that Starbucks is part of an evil plot to enslave the mind of people everywhere, and make us addicted to their products. I am not kidding!
   Okay, swear I am the only one who goes in everyday, moaning about how expensive starbucks is, and yet absolutely unable to resist that frap, or latte. God, how that latte makes me come alive. How delicious it is! Am salivating right now, craving coffee, and its past midnight. See what I mean? And don't you see how its like NO ONE ELSE can make coffee that has quite the same effects as Starbucks? Hell, I just tweeted this today:

And they do. 

But...what if the secret to the awesome addiction-inducing deliciousness of Starbucks coffee isn't just due to their excellent brewing skills. What if there is something more sinister at work? *cue in 80s horror film suspense music* What if there is a mind-game and a spiritual channeling game involved that mentally hooks you to them, making you keep coming back? You think am kidding? Okay, take a good look at their logo: 

Siren: The two things at her head are the split mermaid tails 

I know am not the only one who has wondered who that nice pretty lady is. Well, she's a figure from Greek mythology known as the Siren. Look it up. They're mermaid-like creatures, with a split tail which is what she is holding up on the sides of her head, although they cropped out the original. My point though is, in greek mythology, what does the siren represent? They represent addiction, obsession and finally, death. 

Yea, I do. Totally.

So you mean Starbucks deliberately put this image used to represent addiction, obsession and death, onto their corporate logo? And somehow, their product happens to be addictive, cause people to obsess over it, and finally lead to death. At least financially I have died a thousand deaths because of them. Just in case you are not convinced, just in case u think, oh naaah, this is just a cute picture they put in there to look cool, here's what Starbucks 'senior writer' wrote on their web page while explaining the logo. You can go read it, but Im just going to quote a few of what he says: 

"...the Siren has always been there. She is at the heart of Starbucks." 

You mean, she's not just something you picked cos its good looking? She is at the heart of starbucks? Something that represents addiction, and obsession is AT THE HEART of your company? Say it aint so. He continues with this:

"there is a lot more to her than just the design and how she looks." 

Oh Lord. So its true. There is something entirely spiritual to their logo. Again our writer guys confirms:

"for me she's kind of the Final say on the spirit of everything I write and everything we do. Even as I'm writing this, I  wonder what she thinks. (She likes it, by the way.)"

She talks to them! And approves everything they do! And its all geared towards making you obsessed, addicted, and finally leading to your death. Financially or otherwise. Im done. This is all too much for me. The idea that a company would engage in such evil is just numbing to me. Maybe I need to pour me a hot cup of coffee to wake me up again. Oh wait, we have a Starbucks in my school. They got me yo! Adios!

What Are We Afraid Of?

"The foulness of the slave is the direct result of the baseness of their master."

People, when they don't feel threatened, are gracious and pleasant. Most of the time, when people are hateful, aggressive, suspicious and envious towards one another, I believe they are afraid of something. Its not always obvious, because most of our fear is subconscious. We aren't always aware of why we are afraid of a person, so we cloak it in resentment, hate and aggression. Think about the history of this country's racism. Having enslaved the black people for economic purposes, I believe the white race was in morbid fear of what would happen when black people decided to give them back a piece of their own meal. All that inhumanity, violence, exclusion, and hate was their fear. MLK was able to succeed with the Civil Rights struggle because he could penetrate their fear, and inspire hope. His message was that the black man was not in search of vengeance, but of equality. That was the difference between him and the likes of Malcolm X etc. We saw that again with Obama. But thats all an aside.

My question is...there is a lot of hate and aggression running rampant in the world again. And it makes me wonder, what are we as a collective, afraid of? Why the fear? Among Western powers, there is a definite paranoia among their governments. Its palpable. The laws spewing out of most western countries stink of fear, and its infecting the people. What are Western powers afraid of? That the world is running out of resources? A people revolt? A loss of power to rising nations in Asia? A fall in their economic status? What is the fear???

For someone to breathe fire around every one and anyone its two things involved: he wants to get something, or he is afraid of losing something. What are we so afraid of losing? And is it worth all this pain we are unleashing on the world?

Why Don't Black People Attend Economic/Financial Empowerment Forums?

Obviously, that was a generalization.

But,

I have invariably noticed that

Male-female relationship forums

,talks about racism,

Education, even 

light skin vs. dark skin forums

All Gather More Crowds thanAny Financial-Economic Empowerment Forum.

Considering that 90% of the problems in the Black community is the lack of any kind of meaningful financial power, 

Why Don't MORE Black People Attend Financial Forums, even when they are free?

The Pursuit of Happiness

Like everyone else on earth, I long for happiness. But the manner in which I chase after it has changed a lot in recent years. I owe this to sheer experience and the wisdom that comes from learning once again the lessons that your parents taught you as a child, which, at the time you did not truly understand. Now I do.

Happiness is satisfaction.

Unhappiness is found in longing. 

But the only kind of happiness we are promised in this world is the fluctuations of longing, and satisfaction. Of desires achieved. There is no constant satisfaction. And desire that is unachievable is torture. 

However, I have longed learned that there is a wrong way to pursue happiness. And that is chasing the thrill. 

Getting high, having sex just because the urge hits you, pursuing pleasure at every corner may seem like "the life!" but I've come to realize its not. It literally depresses you, because it wears you out mentally. It takes a certain kind of self devaluation to open yourself to all influences. And whether you realize it or not, your mind reacts to that. You feel devalued. You feel cheapened. Of course it doesn't happen immediately, which is why when it happens, we don't often realize why we feel the way we do. Emotions are thoughts. Millions of thoughts that hit you at the same time, and even though they are not individually articulated, they leave you in a very defined state of mind. And at the back of the mind of every thrill chaser is the question "What is the point of all this? that expresses itself as an emotion: sadness, unrest, depressions and weakness that often forces us to once more go back to the same thing that we thought gave us a momentary thrill. And that is how vicious cycles take over.

There was a time when I agonized over the meaning of life. I flirted with the nihilist idea that life was just a big joke played on us. That there was no particular meaning to it. So I wilded out all the time. But I was never truly happy until I learned that life is all about responsibility. For yourself, above all. But also for the ones around you, starting from family, and going all the way to the world. I have been happiest when I was doing productive things to improve my life, the lives of the ones I loved, or the society I was in. And my happiness was strengthened when I said no to things which had no direct impact on my productivity, no matter how pleasing they were. 

It takes a lot of effort to build the discipline for a different kind of pursuit of happiness. It helped that I had a very strong family that taught me lessons I didn't realize I was learning until many years on. But I noticed, that my values and morals have solidified the more that I practice discipline. And that I find it easier to reject things that I would normally be too weak to say no to. And funny, I am a much happier person today than I ever remember being. 

Who knew?

UnBended Knees

The most powerful thing a man can have

is discipline.

I am constantly working on mine.

Because nothing good...comes to the man who does not have the discipline

to shut out everything else.

and face his vision.

Occupy Naija!

   You know it was only a matter of time before Nigerians occupied something. After all, when Arab spring happened, we are already pining for a Nigerian summer. And then occupy protests raged around the world, and Nigerians, eternal attention whores felt left out. Jona merely gave them a reason to occupy.

For the record, I think it makes sense for the subsidy to go. But typical of the careless way the government does EVERYTHING, Jona and co chose the worst possible way of implementing it: overnight removal. Now, I know the fuel being pumped now probably already got subsidized but hey, tell that to the birds. We are predators, all of us. And the government well and truly spares nary a fuck.

Our protesters on the other hand, seem to be stuck on mamby-pamby land of N65/liter fuel never mind that that price was agreed on when oil was like $80 per barrel. Laudable, courageous but ultimately naive.
It only saddens me that people are dying for this. And Mallams like EL RUFAI are dancing like a jealous co-wife whose husband was finally giving a bit of attention. Inciting people and stuff. Thats the sad part..that our people will come out of this just as ignorant and easy to hoodwink as they went in.

But then again, maybe the Occupy will scare our government enough to be more careful. Im not holding my breath, but you never know.

The Entire Stupidity that is the Gay Marriage Debate

 I'm pissed off that I even have to do this post. Because if the damn Legislators we have in Nigeria actually focused on their real job, which is addressing the concerns of Nigerians, I wouldn't be here talking shit about gay people. You and I know that in the whole of Nigeria, NO ONE is concerned about gay people. Even gay people don't give a shit about other gay people. No lie, I asked my gay cousin and he confirmed. Like if one gay person catches another gay person giving him 'the eye' in a public place, he/she looks away FAST. Nigerian gay people are citizens of the closet. Like their closets got 12 bedrooms and a basement and they dont like sunlight too much. They stay hidden. They gotta get a passport and visa to go visit another gay person in his own closet. I don't even know how they manage to remain gay cos I can tell you, you probably need to be CIA to find another gay person to hook up with. Unless they have a secret gay telepathy network that yours truly does not know about cos honestly I can count the number of gay people I knew in all the years I spent in Nigeria. So the talk of even getting married to another gay person is out of the picture and the picture frame. It is the last thing a gay person wants to do, like right after he has crossed off getting old as shit, buying a coffin and entering the ground. Getting married to the same sex comes right under 'DIE' in a gay person's to do list. So why do our legislators feel that the best way to spend their idle national assembly chat time is to gather round and re-prohibit what the whole society has already prohibited? I dont know. Like its so unnecessary, its like the fishes elders council forbidding any fish from using blow dryer on their hair. Yea fish dont have hair, they cant get dry inside water...you get the point. You can't ban people from doing what they weren't doing anyway. Except in Nigeria. You can do anything in Nigeria. Like, rewrite history for instance.

Which is what some people have done with this gay debate.Am talking about those folks saying that homosexuality/same sex marriage was condoned in Igbo land in the past. Thats that bull. Its one thing to be against a bill that clearly comes from an unnecessary place. No one needs to be making laws in Abuja regulating the in and outs of another man's anus. True. And we have a million and fifty two other more pressing things. But can you stop telling me that in traditional Igbo society, they allowed homosexual couples to marry. That is what you start saying when your head has got stuck in a Columbus cloud and you start studying your own history like you are Indiana Jones. Same sex marriage in Igbo society does not in any way, form, context and meaning resemble the same sex marriage that this half-assed bill was made to criminalize. Im not even going to go through all the details of how different they are, cos that's a whole other post entirely. Do some research, and by that I don't mean someone's blog. You're better off axing your father.
    I don't doubt that Nigerians are homophobic. I grew up in Nigeria and I was very homophobic, like I thought gay people were weirdos and shit. It took America to humanize them a bit for me, so now even though I don't still condone it, I let them be. But let's be real, it took a lot for the West to get where they are as far as being tolerant of gays are concerned. Like I read a bit of its history, its like 'blame game' come alive. Apparently, the Brits say the Normans brought it to the British Isles and it wasnt part of their society.Normans say the French started it, the French said it was the Italians, Bulgarians and North Africans, the Italians say it was the last two, the Bulgarians said it was a Sudanese thing, the Sudanese said it was from the Bantus, and i dont know who the Bantus blamed it on, I think Nubians. By the way, most of all the last three were black African ethnicities.
What am saying is that we have been in denial as a whole race about where this gay thing started from. Obviously its a natural thing, but God forbid we accept that. It gotta be the 'other' folks who started it. So when Nigerians lawmakers try to prevent nature from taking its course and instead cast homosexuality as something the 'West' brought, they are only continuing the legacy. And if you want to call them out on it, dont use some 'it was accepted in the past' defense. It was not. Igbo society in the past would kill you dead with a matchet if you were caught having homo sex, and thats the Jesus truth. So if we want to change that, let's tell them that we have, in our times, realized that nature is nature, people are naturally gay, and we need to let them be.
Thats all I'm saying.

Has Africa Learned Nothing?

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Africa has been fooled once. Liberators have come before, Bibles in hand but dirty money and sword in the other hand. With false promises of freedom from local tyranny, and self rule and civilisation, and like fish that knew no better, we swallowed and lay docile while our lands were plundered of people and resources.

I do not blame our fathers for that. They knew no better. But we do.

We live with the effects of the first advent of Western excursionism into Africa to this day. The racism, the institutionalized marginalization of African Americans, the impoverishment of the African continent, the corruption born out of the instinct to save as much for oneself as you can out of a barely-there pie, all of those issues are with us today*.

So when the West, faced with economic tension suddenly developes a thirst for liberating people all over again, why do my fellow Africans welcome them with open arms? Why do they not tell the West to stay its hand and let us handle our issues ourselves? Why are we so eager to accept the same lies, knowing fully well what the first time cost us?

Why are we so ready to play the fools again? For what dirty ideology?

Steve Jobs: The Best Things

"Your time is Limited So Don't Waste It Living Someone Else's Life"-Jobs

A lot has been and will be said about the revolutionary technologist, artist, leader and businessman who was known as Steve Jobs. The philosophy he lived by, and the powerful products and lifestlyes he created are acts of spectacular genius. But more than all these, what is most memorable about him to me is the convinction of his principles, and the way he communicated them.

"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose"

"Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become."

"Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new."

"We're here to put a dent in the universe."


Look at the words he believed in. Look how aggressively he lived for them, spoke out about them, stuck to them, imbibed them into every single thing he did. And tell me why his life was not destined for legend. Imagine if we had a Steve Jobs in every sector, healthcare, education, politics, finance. How would the world be?

As we reflect on his life, just know this. In an age where every belief is welcome, its still important to believe in the right things. But more important than believing in them, connect them to a higher purpose. Design, build, sing, act, write, inspire as if it was the only thing you came to this earth to do. Perfection is not possible, but like the Promised Land, we can come close enough to catch a glimpse of it. Thats what Jobs taught me. And that, is worth more than a million iPhones.

So don't live your life to build the next Facebook, or Apple, or do some grand gesture that will put you in the realm of greatness. Instead, do every single thing as if it was the greatest, like Jobs did. He said it best when he said:

"Things don’t have to change the world to be important."

And with that I say

RIP

Steve Paul Jobs

This Blog and I: When Words Aint Enough

So each time I come to this blog I get a reminder that the last time I wrote anything on it was in June. And its not like I dont have things to say, but I think I've come to that point in my life when the kind of blog I had in mind, a place for me to explore my experiences and put them in context, is no longer what I need.
   No experience moves me to passionate angst, or puts me in a contemplative mood anymore. I don't know if I'm growing beyond a lot of things or just becoming jaded. Don't get me wrong, I still feel passionate about a lot of things, but these days I only tackle the things I can do something about, and forget those that are beyond my ability. Like many other Nigerians, the situation at home bothers me day and night. As an African, the things happening on the continent really really break me down. But everytime I open this blog to talk about it, the question I ask myself is "What difference will this post make?" And because the answer is almost always "None" I close this page and...pick up a textbook or something. I'm tired of words that serve for nothing.
Action is much more attractive to me right now. I have joined three organisations since the summer. One of them is the World Youth Alliance which I had the opportunity to attend the United Nations Global Youth Summit with, but so far I have not really done much work with them. I also have joined Bono's organisation One.Org which has a chapter in my school and finally, I have taken up the responsibility of coordinating the International Students in my school as President of our association to tackle some humanitarian projects. I'm hoping somewhere, somehow, something I do makes a difference. Or at least that I gain the ability to do more. Because, like I said, words alone are no longer doing anything for me.
I will still write on here, from time to time because I still need an outlet. Just for myself and my thoughts, I don't really intend to direct people here anymore. I need my space.

(If I sound depressed, I may well be. Because just because am no longer talking about things, doesnt mean Im no longer sensitive to them. The world is going to hell, right before our eyes. Anyone who is not depressed by that, should thank God every day.)
Signing out time.
El Divine.

NAIJA Fever

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face. A very short-lived smile.
The first news I ran into on twitter was that unknown people had detonated a bomb in the parking lot of the police headquarters in Abuja.
And people died.
Not to rehash all the plans GEJ has extolled about how he was going to tackle the security situation, but this is clearly not what we were promised. We were promised increased security, a dedicated anti-terrorism team, a hands-on approach.  We need not be told that no real results have been seen. Its getting worse, and we all know it.
What worries me is that we know it, yet we sit with it. and do nothing. We are letting things get progressively worse, and we keep making half hearted efforts until all these issues accumulate and then demand attention all at once. A stitch in time saves nine, they say, but when the first cracks appeared in our national garments, our leaders refused to stitch it. Then more appeared, and more, and now we are clothed in rags, and still No one is stitching. I feel scared to think about it, but we may be nearing the tipping point and I shudder to think of what will be on the other side.
GEJ if at all he is concerned about this country, about the well being of 150 million Nigerians he was sworn to protect, then he should act now and act decisively. I have not heard that he even made a reaction to this event. But I know, and most Nigerians know it, that this is not business as usual. If this is not met with the kind of leadership that a country in crisis demands, then a lot of people will lose faith in Nigeria. And most importantly, many lives will be put at even greater risk. And if we really are committed to building a nation, that is something we cannot afford. GEJ, all eyes are on you. Make us proud. Please.

A Billion Madness

So GEJ was inaugurated, and the ceremony cost a billion naira.
That isn't as half assed as the initial budget estimated at a little over 4billion, but shit damn, thats one billion naira spent on ONE day's event.
What did they spend it on? New spray paint for our national cake perhaps, cos you know no matter what happens outside, in the corridors of power, there must be cake.
But for real, shouldn't we at least pretend to care that Nigerians are suffering? Wasn't that the basis of GEJs election? I still am worried about the tendency I see in Jonathan towards overspending, and underperforming. If we spend a billion naira for Presidential inauguration, imagine what we will spend on Independence day, then deomcracy day, then Mrs. Jonathan's umblerra parties and what not.
I worry oh.
Granted, a special group of Nigerians called Naija Hacktivists, took it very personal and did their thing, taking down some sites. So even though more Nigerians should have reacted to this, at least we're not all complacent and used to it. We still have questions.
As Chude succintly told the President during their lunch, I too will be watching. He's made some good moves, and not so good moves in his appointments. I chose to say nothing. All my comments for now, are for him to have the best of luck. Not for his sake at all. But for Nigeria's. Cos if he messes up, it may be catastrophic. But if he does even moderately well, it will be the catalyst we need. Nigerians are watching. Let the billion be justified.

It takes an Obama, to get an Osama

The views expressed here do not necessarily constitute statements of my political ideology. Take them serious at your own risk.

Hey world..BREAKING NEWS: Osama is dead!!! Okay, thats really not breaking news, since its been spinning around the media machine since 12 hours ago. The breaking news now would be: OSAMA IS STILL ALIVE! Now, wouldn't that be a sight?

Its been a helluva weekend for Obama though, all considered. Last week, we were collectively smarting from The Donald's attempts to discredit his Americanness, and his gaping absence from the Royal Wedding! We all were like, where is the respect Obama commands as P.O.T.U.S. Then of course, he releases his long form birth certificate, which is here:

Then during the White House Correspondents Dinner, he roasted Trump so bad, the only thing remaining of the Donald's presidential ambitions is a smoking toupee. Now, with the latest news of the ten year search for Bin Laden ending successfully under his watch, Obama must be flashing Michelle his signature grin until it becomes annoying. Way to top the Royal Wedding, Bama-Man! Congrats!! Maybe he's on his way to a second Nobel Peace Prize. Possible? No? Oh well...all I know is right now, its one sweet time for Obama to be President.

Anyways

Im amused at certain reactions people have to this news and am gonna attempt to address them in my own little way:

1. This does not mean World Peace is finally here!

 I hear people shouting how relieved they are that Osama has been caught killed. To them, this means Al-Queda is dead too, and more ridiculous, World peace is here!! Brainless pageant girls are weeping, because now, they have to find another answer for the judges' inevitable "what is your greatest wish/dream/desire?" Since world peace is here, they cant say that anymore right? Wrong. World peace is about as close as the nearest alien. Yea, that close. Osama is dead. That is it. Al Queda is not. Countries are still gonna be messing with each other, and settling it with big money and big guns. Nothings changed. After all, within all the ten years we've been searching, can you count how many little Osama's been raised?? Yea. Osama has 19 children. NINETEEN. Thats his own spawned personal terrorist cell. And they all just lost a father. And are ANGRY. And have a Mob of supporters. And have bombs. And know how to use it. Instead of celebrating, folks, how about we all try praying that further bloodshed does not ensue. We do have highly efficient military intelligence and personell watching our backs. Which I thank God for. But thats more reason we should pray, cos those personnel are in enemy territory. And the enemy got guns. And guns kill people. And no matter how hard it is to believe, SEAL, CIA, MARINES, are populated by people. You cut them, they bleed. You shoot them, they die. So much for world peace. (Side note: who wants to catch the look on Osama's face during the #awkwardmoment when he gets to heaven and doesn't find 70 virgins waiting. Maybe he'll bomb the pearly gates. )

2. This does Not Affect the Price of Pepper in Lagos Market. Or the Price of Burger in Mc'Dees. Or the Price of Gas Anywhere.

People are like Osama is dead, great, now gas prices can come down. Naaah son! Osama and gas are two different categories of American concerns. Osama aint the Middle East. Osama aint OPEC. Osama aint the king of Saudi Arabia, though they both have long beards and wear turbans. Any correlation in the behavior of one to the other is purely coincidence. And being that theres a massive load of angry Arab people, I hope the price of gas doesn't actually go further UP.

There's a special class of people...the Conspiracy theorists. Now, this is where it gets interesting. Some say he's been dead and they only let us know now. Others say he isnt dead at all, and this is just a set up. Others say Obama and Osama arranged this to help his 2012 ambitions.

I say, its a whole lot of active imaginations out there, which gives me hope for humanity.

At the end of the day, its different strokes for different folks. For me, I do believe that this is a commendable achievement for Obama. He did it, and am happy for his success. But issues are still out there. The economy, the violence across Africa, and my own overwhelming struggle with my finals this week. So Osama, deuces! Obama, congrats. Now, can we move on please?

Africa, Go Ahead and Grow the Fuck Up

DISCLAIMER: This is a Rant. Curse words were not deleted!

Today I feel like talking a little bit about Africa. Okay, not a lil bit. A lot bit, with all the shenanigans going on there right now. With the recent upheavals in Egypt, Algerian, Tunisia, Libya, Ivory Coast, Sudan and so on, it seems Africa is the in-thing for news agencies. Not like we ever stopped being that anyways. But recently it just seems like everyone and their fucking mothers suddenly have a fucking opinion about where Africa got it right or wrong. I mean, just a year ago, my own professor had asked me "Africa is right next to Saudi Arabia, right?".I told her in anger, "Ma'am, its a fucking CONTINENT."  I kid you not, in this time and age, the second biggest continent in the world was that much of a mystery to an English professor. So now that everyone is talking about us, that means more people are googling Africa, no? Which means that in the midst of all the fucked up shit they'
re checking out, they're bound to run into one or two positive stuff. Which is good enough for me anyways. Worst kind of publicity is 'none at all' and if it takes Gaddafi to finally make people know where Africa is on the map, maybe thats what the purpose is.
Well, lets leave that for now. My main grouse is the resurgence of this bad mouthing of Western powers. African countries are whining about how 'the West' doesn't involve them in decisions concerning Africa, the West treats them paternally, like children, the West likes telling them what to do, the West is always meddling, the West this, the West that. Bullshit. I know better than most how fucked up the West can get and what they can do to extend their fucked-updom to the entire inhabited world. But shit, mouthing off like they got nothing to do with it is some stupid shit. I just listened to the press release made by the Gambia over the Ivory Coat issue. And several complaints people have about what 'the West' is doing in Libya. True, the West is buttfucking the black shit out of the whole continent. But its not rape, like this countries would like you to believe. No one is tying the continent and plundering her people and resources. Maybe that happened in the past, but now, its straight up whoring. Prostitution. African countries whine about it, but truth is, they willfully present butt for fucking. How, you may ask?
If you want to be treated like an adult by your parents and other adults, do you get that by whining, or do you get it by taking responsibility and doing what it demands of you? So why do African countries wanna be treated seriously and consulted when they won't take action when it is needed, won't come up with viable ideas, won't take the time to even meet even when things are getting all messed up. Check how long it took for AU to make a statement about Ghaddafi. More than a month. And that was their President! Consult my ass.
Then, if African countries want the West to stop meddling into their national affairs, how about they stop collecting money from the fucking West. After complaining about Western influence, neocolonialism, yadda yadda yadda, if any Western country says  "Heres a billion dollars!" the same African countries will trample over themselves to get at the money. Isn't it common sense that anyone spending money deserves to get a return on their investment as well as protect that investment by all means possible? He who pays the piper writes the sound track. Finis. End of fucking story. So if they wanna be taken seriously, they need to quit going for the easy money, and take the time to grow some money of their own. Now, I dont mean humanitarian aid, that often comes from NGOs or agencies that have little political motivations and just want to help needy people. Those ones are necessary, every country needs them, they save lives and make a difference so they shouldnt really be messed with. The ones I mean are all those developmental loans, and government aid, and all the phony money bestowed directly on government. That needs to stop. Since history, there has never been a time when a foreign country pays to develop your own country, unless in doing that they are getting major returns. Let the development in your country be driven by your own economic activity. If you want money, supply a demand. Don't take the easy option the West dangles in your face. That way, you may actually earn something called respect. Dignity is sometimes found in a half filled stomach. Plus, there will be less free money to hyper inflate your economy without increasing people's wages. And there will be less money to steal.
All in all, Im just asking African countries to grow up. Dont expect to be treated like a grown up until you actually grow up. We've grown a little more in the recent years. I like to think we are hitting puberty which means soon, there will be accelerated growth. But please, if Africa is not ready to make the hard choices to wean itself off the Western teats, it shouldnt be mad when the West makes decisions for it. When we are ready to be treated fairly, we won't whine. We will act, and act boldly. The first country to reject a Western government aid becomes the next King of Africa in my books. Rant over. Peace out.