Aug 12, 2010

What is wrong with Bankole

Me:Bankole!! Bankoleeee!! Bankolleee ehh!! How many times did I call you?

Bankole: Three times Sir!

Me: what is wrong with you Bankole?
B: how do u mean?
El: Didnt you fight Gbenga Daniel the other day, in his own state, at a public function, a commissioning he invited you to for that matter?
B: But, he..
El: I said, did you or did you not fight him?!!
B: I did.
El: Good. What did you do in Abuja that I asked you to go apologise to those school children.
B: I fought.
El: Say it all, what kind of fight?
B: Royal Rampage...
El: and where was ur arena?
B: the..the legislative chambers.
El: And before that, the last time I scolded you, why did I do so?
B: because I fought with that representative from Kogi.
El: hm-hm, no. (shaking my head) say it like it happend, ngwa!
B: I beat him up.
El: Thats more like it. Now, after all these things, I warned you not to appear in the national news unless it was good news. Didnt I?
B: You did.
El: What is this? (I show him the Dailies for today)
B: But they wanted...
El: Shut up! ah, i said what is this???
B: Me.
El: Doing what?
B: Going down from British Airways flight.
El: Is that in London?
B: No, Abuja.
El: Did you board in London?
B: No, Abuja
El: Oloshi, u flew from Abuja to Abuja, eh kwa?
B: No, I refused to fly with them.
El: Why?
B: They wanted to search my carry on luggage. I left the flight rather than let them search it.
El: Why didnt you want them to search it?
B: Because.
El: What is because?
B: Because is a conjunction
(Whack! I wack him on the head with a notebook) Y didnt u let them search you? Did you pay for the flight?
B: Yes.
El: So why did u abandon ur ticket instead of allowing them to search you. You were doing Alamaseighya right? U stuff pound sterling for ur case, not so?
B: Sir, it was a matter of urgency
El: Shurrup. When I fly, they search my hand luggage. My papa, as old as he is, they search my hand luggage. Who the hell are you, Bankole?
B: Speaker of the National..
El: Shurrup. I am the microphone , the ear piece, the mouth piece and the antenna. Ur only the speaker, what do u know. ole, they for catch you for plane like this, ship u come back like deprieye. ur lucky u ran away. thief. If nothing was in ur bag, u would have allowed them to search it.
B: But I am a Speaker. I deserve diplomatic immunity
El: I would advocate the same. Thats what civilised leaders are given. But ur not a diplomat. Ur Mike Tyson in the legislator. They hear of ur fights everyday. They hear of ur looting everyday. Why will they give u diplomatic privileges when u have abused urself in the name of Nigeria. Shame on u Bankole
B: Thank u Sir!
El: Ur a disgrace!
B: I know Sir, thank u.
El: Come on smell out of my face.
(curtain closes.)
The End

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