Aug 5, 2010

When shit hits the fan

I see this blog, and blogsville as a whole as a source of releif whenver i have much more on my mind than I can carry, while retaining my sanity. I dont go into detail whenever Im emotional about things though cos I dont want to put something out there that I will not like seeing in the next ten years. Or worse, that my wife/girlfriend/mistress/concubine/significant other will not appreciate. So I talk about the generalities and how Im feeling, far more than the reason I feel that way.
Anyhow, I feel kinda crappy right now. Im in the middle of the best part of this whole summer and somoene had to mess it up by giving me a hefty dose of 'screw over'. Like, if i had a punany now, it would be so sore. And it doesnt make it better that the person happens to be someone close..
I mean, it sucks enough that you can hardly trust anyone right? Now, doesnt it even suck harder that you cant even be rest assured that someone got ur back when there is something that needs ur attention when ur not there. Like, this one aint trust..its , its more like..like courtesy or simplehumanity, like, ur the closest person to me, i need to do shit, but im not there..and this shit has to be done. Like, trust or not, even a relatively distant acquaintance would go ahead and do it. Not so? Okay, prolly not, but at least theywould alert me to the shit going down in my absence and then leave the rest for me to work out. But anyone who is a personal friend almost does it automatically. So why? Wai wood a bonafyd sombori just let my shit hit the fan like that?
Well, that ones done for. Ive initiated damage control, but someone please wish me luck. Im fortunate to have some people that still answer when I call, if not what would I have done. to borrow my friends manner of expression #natogocommitsuicidebedat. Thank God for His many blessings.
Anyhow shaa...other things happened today. I had a phone conversation that has entirely changed the dynamics of my relationship with my family. Due to the fact Im the youngest, Ive been the "givee" for far too long, with others being the 'giver'. well they told me to buckle up cos the flow has ended, so money will only flow into my pocket from two ways.and 2 ways only...my income, and my dad. So all those little rivulets of kwik cash..bam! gone. Im going to miss that.
I know whats coming next. The next stage is when responsibility kicks in and new rivulets appear, only with cash flowing the other way. I used to think it would never happen cos i was the yungest, but meyn. i realise that was wishful thinking. So even tho no ones said anything like that yet..i know they're thinking it. and when they do say it, I'll be prepped.
Well, people...dont mind my title. shit aint hit the fan yet. cos i know if it did, it would be damned stinky in here. and at the moment..all i smell is roses. thats y i know i'll b fine. peace on yall.

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